Feet

Some of the most uncomfortable things you can experience in life involve your feet. Here are two examples:

If it is raining outside and puddles begin to form, but you are feeling confident in your ankle rain boots and march straight thorough a puddle, you just made a big mistake. The puddle ends up being a whole lot deeper than you were planning and then BOOM! Water is gushing into your boot. Dang. It. All. Now you have a soggy foot for the rest of the day. You don’t take your shoe off and replace the sock because you have somewhere to go, so all day your foot feels like it is slowly rotting away. Either that or you are beginning your transformation into a mermaid…starting with your feet. That’s odd.

Or the other uncomfortable scenario: you are sitting in a classroom in your fancy high-top white “sneaks” and are feeling too cool for school. But then, you feel that little twinge on the arch of your foot. You panic and slam your foot to the ground to try and stop the inevitable, but it happens anyway: the arch itch. There are only two ways things can go now: untie your shoe and grace your peers with the delight-some smell of your sweaty foot and the sight of the elegant fuzz between your toes, or be a soldier and tough it out. Those who know what’s best for society tough it out. You end up being one of those soldiers. Brave you…but seriously, thank you.

In conclusion, be weary of any rain puddles you come across when walking outside in a rainstorm, and don’t wear high-tops to school. Or really, just amputate your feet, then all of your problems will be solved.

Yeah, just do that.