Today Mom got her second big toe on her left foot amputated.
She has had diabetes for a little under ten years now and her legs and feet have been suffering the most with open wounds that take a long time to heal. A while ago, her legs had blisters develop and she had to eventually go to the wound center to try and help them heal. After a few weeks of going there, on top of her left foot, some severe blisters developed. They were so sever that the blisters on her second big toe went all the way to her bone. This is where the blister got an infection in her toe.
I’ve been helping Mom dress her wounds every day ever since she has been going to the wound clinic. They wrap her legs, which stay wrapped until the next visit, but they have me redress the foot blisters every day to keep it clean. I’ve enjoyed helping Mom in this way. But I just have the inkling that I might have been one of the causes for the infection in her toe. I feel so paranoid thinking I wasn’t sanitary every time I redressed her wounds. Everyone tells me it wasn’t my fault, but I would feel awful if it was me that caused her to lose her toe.
After spending the majority of the day with Mom, she seems to be doing well considering all that’s happened. She has been in good spirits and has been looking on the bright side of things. I am simply astounded at how brave and strong Mom is. She is absolutely resilient. After losing her son, her husband and now her toe, she still never forgets her Savior. Just knowing Mom, I feel like I know what Heavenly Mother must be like.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
Mati
Today is Matisse’s birthday. She turned 25! Matisse is the best big sister, ever. Seriously. I look up to her in everything. She is the one that I turn to when I need help with any design projects because she is such an astounding designer. She is also my best travel buddy. Especially for road trips. Just last semester we drove to Canada together for a Dostoevsky conference at the University of Vancouver. Road tripping with your best friend is one of the best things you can do. While the conference was pretty boring (the scholarly lectures were next to impossible to follow), we had an amazing time in Canada. That was the first time I ever went to Canada. It was also my first time getting a passport. Oh man, such good memories. It was weird though because we went to a park with a lot of hiking trials, we randomly ran into her ex-boyfriend. Of all of the places in the world, at that exact moment we ran into her ex-boyfriend. We weren’t too stoked about that, but the hike we went on was very pleasant.
Matisse is just the best. She makes impulse decisions and lives life. Seriously though, the trip to Canada was a spur of the moment trip, but is one of the best things I have ever done in my life. I feel so fortunate to be Matisse’s sister––she makes life exciting.
Matisse is just the best. She makes impulse decisions and lives life. Seriously though, the trip to Canada was a spur of the moment trip, but is one of the best things I have ever done in my life. I feel so fortunate to be Matisse’s sister––she makes life exciting.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Positivity
One of the hardest things to do in life is to stay positive. It’s just hard. Since we aren’t perfect, we can easily point out our flaws. In fact, we find faults in ourselves too easily. It seems easier to do than to point out our strengths.
With all of the challenges that come with life, it is a much easier option to want to shrivel up, become a recluse, and not want to do anything. Hiding from our problems seems like an easy way to go. But ultimately, it benefits us nothing.
While we all naturally have the Light of Christ in us, we often forget about how natural being good can be. We become so polluted from the influences of the world that we think choosing the negative, bad choices is the easier route. The more natural route.
I guess that being good is so much harder because it means we are reaching perfection––something we don’t naturally do as mortals. God knows we struggle with this on a daily basis. So naturally he gives us more challenges. More challenges to bring out our natural goodness that is inside of us all. It’s just hard to realize who we really are as spirit sons and daughters of God. But through these earthly trials, we come to better know who we and God are, breaking the cycle of the natural man and realizing our potential in achieving perfection.
With all of the challenges that come with life, it is a much easier option to want to shrivel up, become a recluse, and not want to do anything. Hiding from our problems seems like an easy way to go. But ultimately, it benefits us nothing.
While we all naturally have the Light of Christ in us, we often forget about how natural being good can be. We become so polluted from the influences of the world that we think choosing the negative, bad choices is the easier route. The more natural route.
I guess that being good is so much harder because it means we are reaching perfection––something we don’t naturally do as mortals. God knows we struggle with this on a daily basis. So naturally he gives us more challenges. More challenges to bring out our natural goodness that is inside of us all. It’s just hard to realize who we really are as spirit sons and daughters of God. But through these earthly trials, we come to better know who we and God are, breaking the cycle of the natural man and realizing our potential in achieving perfection.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Plans
Well, it turns out that Sam won’t be moving out in March after all. Dang it. I sound like a bad sister––I do love my brother, but it just would have been nice to help him move all of his things out. Oh the clean spaces we would have had! I guess it will happen eventually––my plans are just going to have to be put on hold.
In other news, when Lex and Aaron will move back in March, they will be staying in our next door neighbors’ basement apartment until their current house sitters will find another place to live. It’ll be really fun to have them live next door for once. The Yorks are some of the best friends we have; they are so generous, caring, genuine and just such wholesome people.
Welp…I don’t have a lot to say today…
This morning I broke the record for the longest I have ever slept in. I suppose that my body was just so exhausted from this last week that it need to have an intense recuperation. I ended up sleeping in until 2:00 pm. I feel sheepish even saying that. I just hope that this next week will be a better week for sleep.
In other news, when Lex and Aaron will move back in March, they will be staying in our next door neighbors’ basement apartment until their current house sitters will find another place to live. It’ll be really fun to have them live next door for once. The Yorks are some of the best friends we have; they are so generous, caring, genuine and just such wholesome people.
Welp…I don’t have a lot to say today…
This morning I broke the record for the longest I have ever slept in. I suppose that my body was just so exhausted from this last week that it need to have an intense recuperation. I ended up sleeping in until 2:00 pm. I feel sheepish even saying that. I just hope that this next week will be a better week for sleep.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Introverted
College is challenging, but good. I am very grateful that I am able to go to BYU and receive an education here. I just never imagined how difficult it could be at times.
I am not a social person. I want to be, but I always clam up. I have always struggled with making friends, speaking up, sharing comments in my classes, or really just talking to any groups of people. However, if ever I am in a small group of other quiet people, I usually thrive. I just can’t handle being in a large social classroom setting where I am required to talk or am looked at as strange for never saying anything. The worst part is when someone points out that I haven’t made a comment yet. Whenever they say that, it’s “thank you captain obvious.” Why do so many people feel the need to point out the introverts and make them feel uncomfortable? If I ever feel the pressing need to share my opinion, I will. But there is not benefit in talking if it is all mindless babble.
It is especially hard for me when the teacher grades me on my participation (a.k.a. whether or not I talk). It’s challenging to be an introvert in an extroverted classroom. However, while I don’t say much in class, I am still learning. I learn by listening in class. Not many teachers, or students, understand that.
Being extroverted is one way to learn and being introverted is another. Everyone needs to take a chill pill and realize that while introverts might not be the most vocal or outgoing all of the time, they are still learning and progressing but just in a different way. Being extroverted is not the only way to live life. I wish more people understood that.
I am not a social person. I want to be, but I always clam up. I have always struggled with making friends, speaking up, sharing comments in my classes, or really just talking to any groups of people. However, if ever I am in a small group of other quiet people, I usually thrive. I just can’t handle being in a large social classroom setting where I am required to talk or am looked at as strange for never saying anything. The worst part is when someone points out that I haven’t made a comment yet. Whenever they say that, it’s “thank you captain obvious.” Why do so many people feel the need to point out the introverts and make them feel uncomfortable? If I ever feel the pressing need to share my opinion, I will. But there is not benefit in talking if it is all mindless babble.
It is especially hard for me when the teacher grades me on my participation (a.k.a. whether or not I talk). It’s challenging to be an introvert in an extroverted classroom. However, while I don’t say much in class, I am still learning. I learn by listening in class. Not many teachers, or students, understand that.
Being extroverted is one way to learn and being introverted is another. Everyone needs to take a chill pill and realize that while introverts might not be the most vocal or outgoing all of the time, they are still learning and progressing but just in a different way. Being extroverted is not the only way to live life. I wish more people understood that.
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Lex and Aaron
Today Alexis announced that she and Aaron are moving back to Provo!!! And they will be moving back next month!!! For the past while Aaron has been looking for a job. He has considered taking jobs that are located in places like California, Florida, and Spain. I seriously thought they would go to the job in California, but it turns out that Aaron’s friend from school has a new business that is doing really well. He offered Aaron a promising job and so now they are coming back to their home in Provo.
I am especially excited that Lex and Aaron are coming back because now whenever they will have kids, they will have family around to help. I love little kids and I have offered multiple times to babysit their kids whenever they need. Oh man, just the thought of me becoming an aunt sounds so wonderful. Since I am the youngest in the family and don’t have any younger siblings, I never got to enjoy being a big sister. However, I have babysat the most out of my sisters (and still do) and one of my current jobs is being a mother’s assistant, so I do have good experience with little kids and babies. I just really want a niece or nephew because then I don’t have to feel so self-conscious whenever I am around someone else’s baby who is not family. All in all, I am super excited that they are moving back!
I am especially excited that Lex and Aaron are coming back because now whenever they will have kids, they will have family around to help. I love little kids and I have offered multiple times to babysit their kids whenever they need. Oh man, just the thought of me becoming an aunt sounds so wonderful. Since I am the youngest in the family and don’t have any younger siblings, I never got to enjoy being a big sister. However, I have babysat the most out of my sisters (and still do) and one of my current jobs is being a mother’s assistant, so I do have good experience with little kids and babies. I just really want a niece or nephew because then I don’t have to feel so self-conscious whenever I am around someone else’s baby who is not family. All in all, I am super excited that they are moving back!
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Russian Test
I’ve said this so many times before, but I am saying it again: Russian is hard. It is hard for me to stay focused on learning the language when I don’t have a mission I need to learn it for or that I have a specific purpose in mind for why I am wanting to learn it.
My sister Matisse was the one who encouraged me to take Russian. I signed up to have one of her favorite professors (really all of the Russian faculty are her favorite). Russian 101 was simple and fun. It was an interesting intro into Russian. But Russian 102 now is when the honeymoon is over. Things are beginning to get serious and now is the time when you decide if you want to continue doing it or not. I honestly don’t know if I want to, though.
Tomorrow is my Russian oral test. I can’t speak that well so I am really nervous. For some reason, when it comes to learning Russian, my mind blanks on everything. When I was learning Spanish and French, I could remember things easily. It felt so much simpler speaking both of those languages too. I just hope that as I practice speaking Russian more, things will come more easily. I hope I will be able to remember what case endings are needed in specific situations and just that I can simply understand what the person is saying. I feel like I am going at a snails’ pace. Not even a turtle that when it goes slow and steady it wins the race, but rather a snail. Who knows when it will win the race––if it ever does.
My sister Matisse was the one who encouraged me to take Russian. I signed up to have one of her favorite professors (really all of the Russian faculty are her favorite). Russian 101 was simple and fun. It was an interesting intro into Russian. But Russian 102 now is when the honeymoon is over. Things are beginning to get serious and now is the time when you decide if you want to continue doing it or not. I honestly don’t know if I want to, though.
Tomorrow is my Russian oral test. I can’t speak that well so I am really nervous. For some reason, when it comes to learning Russian, my mind blanks on everything. When I was learning Spanish and French, I could remember things easily. It felt so much simpler speaking both of those languages too. I just hope that as I practice speaking Russian more, things will come more easily. I hope I will be able to remember what case endings are needed in specific situations and just that I can simply understand what the person is saying. I feel like I am going at a snails’ pace. Not even a turtle that when it goes slow and steady it wins the race, but rather a snail. Who knows when it will win the race––if it ever does.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)